Everything was just WRONG yesterday. At times it seemed everyone was intent on badgering and making demands of me while deep inside me somewhere was a little voice whimpering in pain, exhaustion, and discouragement. Sometimes it's so hard to rely on God's strength. It's there for me; He knows I can accomplish nothing good on my own. But my flesh and my pride want to try -- so they can fail and then whine about their wounds and solicit the pity of others. The fact is, God has given me everything I need to accomplish the purposes He has set for me, but I must rely on His strength and grace to do it -- and THAT is where I constantly fail.
But today, everything is right. I've had three uplifting, challenging, inspiring messages from God's Word from men who seem to treat the Scripture with honesty, humility, and respect. I've enjoyed glimpses into the nature of God through beautiful music that honors Him. I've spent quiet, simple moments in communion and fellowship with my Savior. I even ran into Pastor, and we shared a chuckle over our mutual opinion of last night's speaker. Oh the riches available from God and His Word! They will never be exhausted, and I will never get enough!
Help me to turn all my desire toward You and You alone. Give me grace to endure the lonely times, and teach me Your purpose. Fill my heart with love for You. Teach me humility; destroy my pride and help me to die to myself that I may live wholly and completely for You. You have blessed me in SO MANY ways; give me a thankful heart. Help me to focus on Your gifts instead of what I perceive as lacks. You have promised to supply all my needs. What I do not have, I do not need -- indeed, I need to not have it. Conform the desires of my heart to Your perfect, loving will, and give me the grace to be content there.
Psalm 73:21-26
"When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
Lord, would You hold my hand? I see sweet couples all around me, hands clasped in the reassurance of companionship. They walk side by side, confident in each other's support, knowing that the strength of the one is there for the weakness of the other. Lord, will You be my companion? Would You walk by my side? Would You take my feeble hand in Your own and lead me down Your path? I don't want to go anywhere without You by my side. And my hand can accomplish nothing unless it is firmly placed in Yours. Would You be my strength, my comfort, my guardian, my friend?
Lord, may I hold Your hand?
"When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever."
Lord, would You hold my hand? I see sweet couples all around me, hands clasped in the reassurance of companionship. They walk side by side, confident in each other's support, knowing that the strength of the one is there for the weakness of the other. Lord, will You be my companion? Would You walk by my side? Would You take my feeble hand in Your own and lead me down Your path? I don't want to go anywhere without You by my side. And my hand can accomplish nothing unless it is firmly placed in Yours. Would You be my strength, my comfort, my guardian, my friend?
Lord, may I hold Your hand?
"What would you do in the world without Him in the midst of its temptations and its cares? What would you do in the morning without Him when you wake up and face another day's battle? What would you do at night when you come home tired and weary, if there was no door of fellowship between you and Christ? He will not permit us to face one day without Him, for Jesus never forsakes His own." ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Sunday morning's service was so neat. Because we're in Acts, we're studying the beginnings of Paul's ministry. It's just extraordinary the journey the Lord took him through to be able to use him so mightily. And yet, how alone he must have felt, especially as a new convert. The apostles were mostly unlearned laymen. They must have been initially both suspicious of this Pharisee who was famed for his hatred of Christ's followers, as well as a bit jealous of and threatened by his scholarship and his success in other regions as a preacher of Christ. And he couldn't go back to his former colleagues and peers -- to them he was the ultimate traitor.
Paul strikes me as someone I could learn a lot from. I've been trying for so long to find some sort of "position" for myself as an unmarried female in God's overall pattern. There are instructions for parents, children, husbands, wives, pastors, deacons, widows... Where are the instructions for me? But it strikes me that Paul wasn't really any of those things either, and yet God used him so completely, and he never seemed to have any trouble knowing his purpose.
Paul strikes me as someone I could learn a lot from. I've been trying for so long to find some sort of "position" for myself as an unmarried female in God's overall pattern. There are instructions for parents, children, husbands, wives, pastors, deacons, widows... Where are the instructions for me? But it strikes me that Paul wasn't really any of those things either, and yet God used him so completely, and he never seemed to have any trouble knowing his purpose.
But all things have a purpose in the Lord's divine plan. There are lessons about dependence on God for my strength in these difficulties, and I pray the Lord will help me rejoice in the chance to learn more of how to lean on Him. I am so weak, but His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Lord, place a guard on my tongue and blinders on my eyes to anything but fulfilling my responsibilities diligently and faithfully. Please cause me to know when to speak and when to be silent. Let the words I speak be holy and kind. Give me compassion for those whose actions chafe my spirit and provoke me to react badly. Give me grace in exhaustion to have a smile on my face and Your joy in my heart. Make me teachable, pliable in Your loving hands. These events are happening for my ultimate good, even though I don't see it clearly, and NOTHING is beyond Your control.
"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God."
~ Psalm 43:5
Complete reliance upon God. I can do nothing good in my own strength. Lord, help me, enable me to rely wholly and completely on You. I am so very weak and sinful on my own. Keep my spirit close to Your heart, so that the moment I stray I am aware of it and run back to Your arms. Disobedience waits on every side; keep my focus on Your glory, Your purpose, Your strength, Your love. Oh, especially Your love. No one will ever love me as You do, my Redeemer. Broaden my heart and fill it with love for you. Teach me compassion, and give me Your love for your dear ones, my brothers and sisters in You. Remove my focus on my own hurts and give me Your heart for the pain and needs of others. Make me a faithful, JOYFUL servant where You've placed me!
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise Him,
my Savior and my God."
~ Psalm 43:5
Complete reliance upon God. I can do nothing good in my own strength. Lord, help me, enable me to rely wholly and completely on You. I am so very weak and sinful on my own. Keep my spirit close to Your heart, so that the moment I stray I am aware of it and run back to Your arms. Disobedience waits on every side; keep my focus on Your glory, Your purpose, Your strength, Your love. Oh, especially Your love. No one will ever love me as You do, my Redeemer. Broaden my heart and fill it with love for you. Teach me compassion, and give me Your love for your dear ones, my brothers and sisters in You. Remove my focus on my own hurts and give me Your heart for the pain and needs of others. Make me a faithful, JOYFUL servant where You've placed me!
“Lord, help me to glorify Thee;
I am poor,
Help me to glorify Thee by contentment;
I am sick,
Help me to give Thee honour by patience;
I have talents,
Help me to extol Thee by spending them for Thee;
I have time,
Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve thee;
I have a heart to feel,
Lord, let that heart feel no love but Thine,
And glow with no flame but affection for Thee;
I have a head to think,
Lord, help me to think of Thee and for Thee;
Thou hast put me in this world for something,
Lord, show me what that is,
And help me to work out my life-purpose:
I cannot do much,
But as the widow put in her two mites, which were all her living,
So, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into Thy treasury;
I am all Thine;
Take me, and enable me to glorify Thee now,
In all that I say,
In all that I do,
And with all that I have."
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
I am poor,
Help me to glorify Thee by contentment;
I am sick,
Help me to give Thee honour by patience;
I have talents,
Help me to extol Thee by spending them for Thee;
I have time,
Lord, help me to redeem it, that I may serve thee;
I have a heart to feel,
Lord, let that heart feel no love but Thine,
And glow with no flame but affection for Thee;
I have a head to think,
Lord, help me to think of Thee and for Thee;
Thou hast put me in this world for something,
Lord, show me what that is,
And help me to work out my life-purpose:
I cannot do much,
But as the widow put in her two mites, which were all her living,
So, Lord, I cast my time and eternity too into Thy treasury;
I am all Thine;
Take me, and enable me to glorify Thee now,
In all that I say,
In all that I do,
And with all that I have."
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"Martha was cumbered about much serving. - Luke 10:40
Her fault was not that she served. Every Christian must become a servant. 'I serve' should be the motto of all the princes of the royal family of heaven. Nor was it her fault that she had 'much serving.' We cannot do too much. Let our head and heart and hands be engaged in the Master's service. It was no fault of hers that she was busy preparing a feast for the Master. Martha was happy to have an opportunity to entertain her honorable Guest. Her fault was that she grew 'cumbered with much serving,' so that she forgot Him and only remembered the service. She allowed service to override communion and so presented one duty darkened by the neglect of another. We ought to be Martha and Mary in one. We should do much service and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune. ... The more spiritual the exercise, the sooner we tire of it. The choicest fruits are the hardest to grow. The most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. While we do not neglect external things which are good in themselves, we should also enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus. See to it that sitting at the Savior's feet is not neglected, even though it may be under the deceptive pretext of doing service for Him. The first thing for our soul's health, for His glory, and for our own usefulness is to keep ourselves in constant communion with the Lord Jesus. We must see that the vital spirituality of our faith is maintained above everything else in the world." ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Her fault was not that she served. Every Christian must become a servant. 'I serve' should be the motto of all the princes of the royal family of heaven. Nor was it her fault that she had 'much serving.' We cannot do too much. Let our head and heart and hands be engaged in the Master's service. It was no fault of hers that she was busy preparing a feast for the Master. Martha was happy to have an opportunity to entertain her honorable Guest. Her fault was that she grew 'cumbered with much serving,' so that she forgot Him and only remembered the service. She allowed service to override communion and so presented one duty darkened by the neglect of another. We ought to be Martha and Mary in one. We should do much service and have much communion at the same time. For this we need great grace. It is easier to serve than to commune. ... The more spiritual the exercise, the sooner we tire of it. The choicest fruits are the hardest to grow. The most heavenly graces are the most difficult to cultivate. While we do not neglect external things which are good in themselves, we should also enjoy living, personal fellowship with Jesus. See to it that sitting at the Savior's feet is not neglected, even though it may be under the deceptive pretext of doing service for Him. The first thing for our soul's health, for His glory, and for our own usefulness is to keep ourselves in constant communion with the Lord Jesus. We must see that the vital spirituality of our faith is maintained above everything else in the world." ~Charles Haddon Spurgeon
I am in His grip, in His care, in the hollow of His hand, the center of His will -- and therefore all joy is mine. He is my Sustainer, my Counselor, Guide, and Friend. I will trust in His love, His provident hand in my life that intends only to strengthen me to His purpose. I will cling to the assurance that my faithfulness is His will for me and the most important thing in my life.
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