I can tell that I haven't been as faithful as I should lately. The other day I accidentally betrayed a confidence. I didn't mean to; it came out before I could stop it. And because I stopped myself before I could say all of it, I didn't give a complete picture. :-(
I know exactly the area I've been neglecting that ends me up relying on my own strength, and that is my prayer life. Lord, please forgive me for allowing worldly distractions to draw me away from spending quality time in prayer and studying Your Word. Please break me and humble me. I long to be molded into the person You'd have me to be. Empty me of myself and fill me with You. Teach me how to submit to You in every area of my life.
Lord, how I long for companionship. I want so badly to have a godly mate, someone to study and grow with, someone to lean on, to hug me when I'm sad, to support me when I'm confused. Someone who's willing to confront me when I'm wrong or to praise me when I need affirmation and encouragement. Help me to take my focus OFF myself when I get too bogged down in self-pity. I am so blessed, but it is easier to indulge in moping than to trust God's perfect plan and purpose for me.
"One problem with the word work is that it has come to be equated with drudgery, and is considered degrading. Now some work is drudgery, though it is not always degrading. Vacuuming the house or scrubbing out the refrigerator is drudgery for me, though I find it in no way degrading. And that it is drudgery is lack in me. I enjoy the results and so I should enjoy producing the results. I suspect that it is not the work itself which is the problem, but that it is taking me from other work, such as whatever manuscript I am currently working on. Drudgery is not what work is meant to be. Our work should be our play. If we watch a child at play for a few minutes,seriously at play, we see that all his energies are concentrated on it. He is working very hard at it. And that is how the artist works, although the artist may be conscious of discipline while the child simply experiences it."
~ Madeleine L'Engle, Glimpses of Grace
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