In My Weakness / Don't Forget

Some Sundays the Lord just seems to reach down and cover me with blessing.  Usually it happens when I'm responsible for contributing to the service in some way.  This week, I was scheduled to sing a solo.

Now, let me first clarify:  I have a love/hate relationship with singing solos.  I do not like my singing voice.  In the shower it's fabulous.  In the car even, it's not terribly objectionable. In a group, I'm great at blending with those around me.  But put me in front of anyone and have me sing by myself, and my voice devolves into that of a shy, breathless 13-year-old girl.  However, music is one of God's greatest gifts to minister to my heart.  "I sing for I cannot be silent" should be the epitaph on my tombstone.  The Lord uses music in my life to teach and admonish me so often that I cannot help but testify of Him in song.  Might as well tell my heart not to beat.  When solo time rolls around on the schedule, more often than not I've had a song in mind for weeks beforehand, one the Lord has been ever-so-gently hammering into my soul.

Yesterday's selection - "In My Weakness" - was one such song.  It's been next in line for months.  However, last time I was on the schedule, I had a really rough morning on the Sunday I was supposed to sing.  By the time we were done practicing, the pianist and I both knew I would not make it through singing that morning.  So it got postponed.  The timing was of the Lord (it always is), and yesterday my turn came 'round again. This is the first time I can remember singing a "sheet music" special - something not out of the WILDS songbook or something similar.  I have plenty I'd LOVE to sing, but my limited range eliminates most of them.

Anyway, as I was driving to church yesterday morning, the Lord and I were having a "discussion."  Once in a while, He insists that I give a testimony about the song I'm going to sing.  I don't like doing it, because by the time I'm done talking, I'm breathless and three times as nervous as I was previously.  But He insisted that was the point.  The song was about my weakness displaying His strength.  He wanted me to be "weak" when I sang, to use that to demonstrate His strength through me.  Let's just say He had plenty of weakness to work with.  ;-) 

But it was a lovely day, and a lesson most needed.  I've had a rather rough several months spiritually, but the Savior has oh-so-gently been nudging me back under His wings, comforting me with His love and chastening me with gentleness.

Another song He has been using in my life lately is "Don't Forget" from the WILDS album Come Bless the Lord.  I put it on my "2007 Sacred Favorites Mix," not really thinking it special at the time, but knowing that the words would get to me eventually.  They did.  ;-)

"Don't forget all He's done
Don't forget victories won
Don't forget in the race
He gave strength for the run
Don't forget Jesus' care
Don't forget answered prayer
Don't forget, don't forget,
You saw His hand everywhere

Remember your Lord God Jehovah
Remember how much you were changed by His Word
Forget not the days
He taught you to praise
Though hard seemed the way of the Lord
Remember how far that He took you
When He gave you a hunger to abide
Oh, don't turn Him away
He bids you to stay
Right where you belong at His side,

How the time has gone by
And the memories have died
I've forgotten the joy
When in Him I abide
How I long for the day
When His strength was my stay
Lord forgive, Lord renew,
Lord revive me today.

Remember your Lord God Jehovah
Remember how much you were changed by His Word
Forget not the days
He taught you to praise
Though hard seemed the way of the Lord
Remember how far that He took you
When He gave you a hunger to abide
Oh, don't turn Him away
He bids you to stay

Though gone be your song
The weak or the strong
Stay where you belong at His side.
Don't forget.  Don't forget."

National Singleness Awareness Day

Yeah, so I completely ignored National Singleness Awareness Day, aka Valentine's Day. Trust me, it was better that way for anyone in my vicinity.

However, today brought across my path an amusing article by one of my favorite singletons, Camerin Courtney. The article - "The Ad Copy of Coupledom" is a delightfully funny and light-hearted look at dating services.

Favorite quote: "...we're prone to be looking around at the chocolate-and-jewelry-exchanging couples of the world and feel a bit one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other-y."

Energy Boost

Mondays have never been my strong point.  In fact, Sunday nights after church tend to be a crash-and-burn for me emotionally.  Sundays are often the highlight of my week, and when they're over, and I face the next day at work, I can end up very low by the time I get home from services.  That usually carries into and through most of Monday.  This week was no different.  I had a lethargic, completely unproductive day, and left work feeling dejected and a complete failure.

At the beginning of this year, I joined the Athens Master Chorale, admittedly with a bit of trepidation.  My schedule tends to be tight these days, and I was concerned that the addition of a weekly evening commitment might be irresponsible of me.  But I have found it to be a blessing over the last few weeks.  It keeps me from crashing at the end of a Monday, forces me to get out of myself and interact with people outside my regular sphere.

And last night it was a special blessing.  The music is very challenging, and by the end of rehearsal, I was energized, excited, and ready to accomplish something.  Instead of going home and planting myself on the couch for the rest of the evening, I managed to do some much-needed basic straightening around the house.  I even had my devotions, something I've been really struggling to accomplish in recent weeks.

Athens Master Chorale practically "fell into my lap."  When the opportunity first presented itself, I felt like it was a gift from the Lord.  It had been so obvious a providential "coincidence" that I even heard about the auditions that I felt like I had an obligation to at least try.  I'm so glad now that I did.  The outlet has proven a significant blessing.

Our Consolation

"For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ." 2 Corinthians 1:5

There is a blessed proportion. The Ruler of Providence bears a pair of scales-in this side he puts his people's trials, and in that he puts their consolations. When the scale of trial is nearly empty, you will always find the scale of consolation in nearly the same condition; and when the scale of trials is full, you will find the scale of consolation just as heavy. When the black clouds gather most, the light is the more brightly revealed to us. When the night lowers and the tempest is coming on, the Heavenly Captain is always closest to his crew. It is a blessed thing, that when we are most cast down, then it is that we are most lifted up by the consolations of the Spirit. One reason is, because trials make more room for consolation. Great hearts can only be made by great troubles. The spade of trouble digs the reservoir of comfort deeper, and makes more room for consolation. God comes into our heart-he finds it full-he begins to break our comforts and to make it empty; then there is more room for grace. The humbler a man lies, the more comfort he will always have, because he will be more fitted to receive it. Another reason why we are often most happy in our troubles, is this-then we have the closest dealings with God. When the barn is full, man can live without God: when the purse is bursting with gold, we try to do without so much prayer. But once take our gourds away, and we want our God; once cleanse the idols out of the house, then we are compelled to honour Jehovah. "Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O Lord." There is no cry so good as that which comes from the bottom of the mountains; no prayer half so hearty as that which comes up from the depths of the soul, through deep trials and afflictions. Hence they bring us to God, and we are happier; for nearness to God is happiness. Come, troubled believer, fret not over your heavy troubles, for they are the heralds of weighty mercies.
~ Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Timing

Timing is everything.  Ever notice that?  As a Christian and a firm believer in God's sovereign providence, I am continually amazed at how the world seems to have no trouble accepting the things that happen to and around them as nothing more than random coincidence.  The reality of how events are orchestrated for us is demonstrated in both positive and negative ways in the life of a believer.

For example, I have been dwelling recently on trusting God in my circumstances - all of them.  I've never really felt like I didn't trust that God was working for my good and His glory, but I've certainly been demonstrative in my dissatisfaction with just how He seems to be accomplishing it over recent months.  So lately I've been praying that the Lord would humble me and grant me a more submissive attitude to every aspect of His plan for me.  And when I began really meditating on and praying toward that purpose, I began encountering all kinds of contributions to that theme, the most recent of which is the fact that Sunday night, Pastor is preaching on "Sovereignty and Circumstances."  I can't wait!  (Which reminds me - be sure to pack kleenexes on Sunday.)

But Satan too seems to know when God is having the victory in my life.  And it never seems to fail that as soon as I begin to get firm hold on some aspect of my faith again, he brings across my path some form of temptation he knows is usually effective in convincing me to fall.  After which I feel defeated, worthless, and completely unusable to the Lord - until through His love and His Word He patiently brings me back under His wings, as I confess, repent, and allow Him to comfort and cleanse me once more.

Today, as is often the case, I am grateful for God's frequent reminders of the fleeting nature of this life.  We are but grass - here today, gone tomorrow, and then all of eternity with Him.